Two sentence horror stories.
Using some of these to spur my creative juices.
some gave me unpleasant chills.
saw something on facebook that really pissed me off because I worked at McDonalds for three years.
I wonder what percentage of people arguing against a minimum wage hike have never worked a fucking minimum-wage job in their life is.
ellen degeneres can host my funeral
"why do you wear a lot of black?" because i’m ready for your funeral bitch
this right here is my favorite line in the entire fucking show
I saw this before and IT GOT BETTER.
I need one.
I’m sorry. Can we just go back to the bit where you just have a LAWN DINOSAUR? Where can I get one of those?
me: i’m gonna study when i get home
me: i’ll just study before i go to bed
me: i’ll just study in the morning
me: i’ll just study on the way to school
me: i’ll just study in this class
me: i’ll just study in the hall
me: i’ll just study before the test
me: i’ll just study during the test
i have been planning on getting my shit together for like 5 years now